How I Kicked Caffeine

Caffeine promotes mindless, impatient busyness. That’s why I want to kick the habit, again. I found this image on Amazon.

June 5, 2023. Below is an edited version of a column, originally published in 2018 and behind a paywall, that explains why and how I kicked my caffeine habit. Please see Postscript. —John Horgan

I recently carried out an experiment involving my decades-long caffeine consumption. I have ingested caffeine, mostly in the form of coffee, since my mid-twenties. My average daily intake of 5-7 cups of strong brewed coffee was causing problems, and so last spring I set out to kick my habit. In this column I describe the results of my experiment and offer observations on caffeine addiction.

Medical Background

First, some background information, culled from “Caffeine Use Disorder: A Comprehensive Review and Research Agenda,” by behavioral scientist Roland Griffiths and others. Caffeine is the most widely used drug in the world; nine out of ten American adults consume it on a regular basis. (In contrast, only half of American adults consume alcohol once a month or more.) The average daily dose of caffeine is 200 milligrams, roughly what you get from two cups of coffee or five caffeinated soft drinks.

Regular caffeine consumption leads to tolerance; you need larger doses to achieve positive effects. Cessation leads to withdrawal symptoms, including headache, fatigue, difficulty concentrating and dysphoria. Many people find it hard to quit caffeine even when it compromises their physical and mental health. Sounds likes addiction to me.

Personal Background

I became addicted to coffee in my mid-20s, when I was a housepainter in Denver. I was painting a house on blazing-hot day when my client, an elderly woman, gave me iced coffee with a dollop of chocolate ice cream. For the rest of the afternoon, I felt like Superman. That nice old lady hooked me.

Until this summer, I would typically drink 4-5 cups of brewed coffee right after waking and another 1-2 cups in the afternoon. I occasionally had tea and caffeinated soft drinks, too. I avoided caffeine after 2 p.m., because it keeps me up at night.

Coffee gives me a surge of energy that jump-starts my day. I like to write when freshly caffeinated. Coffee boosts my mood, too, filling me with can-do euphoria. But it’s a dirty high; the excess energy often jams my mind, making thinking and writing harder. As the day goes on, I get anxious, jittery, glum, impatient, irritable. Over the past few years, these negative effects have increased; that’s why I wanted to quit.

Short-Term Benefit, Long-Term Harm

Hypothesis: Many people get short-term benefits from caffeine but pay an increasing price over the long term. This trend is true over the course of a single day and of many years. That is, your baseline mood is lower—more glum and anxious--than it would have been if you’d never become a java junkie.

The pattern of short-term benefit versus long-term harm is probably true of all mood-altering drugs, from antidepressants to cocaine. The major difference between, say, caffeine and methamphetamine is the slope of the downward trend. I hoped that if I quit caffeine, my overall mood and energy level would rise, more than compensating for the loss of morning energy spikes. But I couldn’t be sure.

Quitting Booze Versus Quitting Caffeine

Quitting alcohol gave me hope that I could quit caffeine. I drank from my teens into my 50s, averaging 3-5 drinks (beer, wine, cocktails) a night. Gradually alcohol started making me feel depressed and anxious. I quit drinking on January 1, 2009, the same day I separated from my wife (now ex-wife).

Quitting booze wasn’t as hard as I expected because I immediately felt much better, and not just in the morning. I slept better, too. Hanging out with drinkers wasn’t hard; I enjoy remaining sober and smart as people around me get tipsy and dumb. Also--and this is crucial—the quantity and, I believe, quality of my writing improved after I quit drinking.

Caffeine and Capitalism

Until recently, I thought I needed caffeine to write. I suspect many caffeine addicts feel the same way; that is, they think caffeine makes them better workers. But at what cost? Paul Erdos calls mathematicians machines for turning coffee into theorems. That quip has a hard truth embedded in it. Caffeine transforms us into automatons, machines for carrying out to-do lists.

Caffeine is the ideal drug for our hyper-capitalist culture, which exalts the relentless pursuit of wealth. Caffeine fosters an impatient busyness antithetical to mindfulness, which I define as paying attention to the weirdness of existence.

Writing is my career. It’s also, I like to think, my spiritual path, my way of paying attention. But when I am hyper-caffeinated, my writing feels compulsive rather than reflective. I am a machine for turning coffee into paragraphs.

Caffeine and Tech Addiction

We are addicted to information technologies as well as to caffeine, and the addictions are unhealthily symbiotic. Ideally, coffee gives me the energy and focus to get writing done. But my mental state often degrades into a distracted twitchiness that is bad for writing and perfect for Internet surfing.

Throughout the day I check my three email accounts, Twitter, Facebook, The New York Times, my retirement portfolio. It is surely no coincidence that caffeine consumption and information-technology addiction are both endemic in our culture. The archetypal urban citizen hustles down a sidewalk while gripping a Starbucks coffee and staring at an iPhone.

My Experiment, Part 1

I began my experiment last spring by switching from 4-5 cups of strong brewed coffee in the morning to two mugs of black tea. No caffeine in the afternoon. After four days I reduced my intake to a single mug of tea. Then I had no caffeine at all for eight days.

Withdrawal began as soon as I switched from coffee to tea, which produced a pitiful simulacrum of the java buzz. I didn't get the headaches that many people report, but I felt depressed, lethargic, anxious, fuzzy-headed. Teaching and writing were tough. I craved coffee, the smell and taste, the morning rush.

Withdrawal intensified after I stopped drinking tea. I lacked the energy to do things or even decide what to do. Writing and reading were hard, because I couldn’t concentrate. I watched a lot of television (that is, even more than usual, I’m a Netflix zombie).

I backslid. I started drinking a cup or two of coffee in the morning to get a book finished. That was my excuse, anyway. Quitting caffeine was turning out to be much harder than quitting booze.

My Experiment, Part 2: The Retreat

In July I went on a one-week silent meditation retreat, no talking or digital devices allowed. It involved lots of meditation on my own and under the guidance of a teacher. I scaled back my caffeine intake before the retreat and went cold turkey during it (although tea and coffee were available).

I felt no withdrawal during the retreat. Quite the contrary. I fell into a state of euphoric, relaxed attentiveness that I call “The Laziness.” Being caffeine-free, and away from digital distractions, surely contributed to this state. Meditation calmed me, more than it ever had when I was caffeinated.

I have now been caffeine-free (except for occasional dark-chocolate snacks) for more than two months, and I feel great. Less anxious, glum, moody, irritable, impatient. More calm and clear-headed. My sleep hasn’t improved as much as I’d hoped; I still only get 6-7 hours of sleep a night. But during the day, if I feel tired, I can summon the energy to get things done, like grading papers or writing columns like this one. Catnaps help, too.

I feel as though I have become a more attentive teacher, colleague, friend and father. My girlfriend, who is brutally blunt, corroborates my self-assessment. I’ve become much nicer, she says. She wishes I had kicked caffeine years ago. So do I.

Postscript: I remained pretty caffeine free for three years after my 2018 experiment, but then I backslid while working on another book. Caffeine feels fantastic when you haven’t had it in a while! For the last year or two I’ve averaged 2-3 cups of strong coffee every morning, and the adverse effects are getting to me. I’m posting this column to remind myself how good it felt being off caffeine. I hope to quit again this summer. Wish me luck.

Further Reading:

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